News time with Pablo Broadinio.
IDIOTIC NEWS…Greggs are considering a name change after a few complaints received suggested the name sounded too male. Spokesperson for the gender neutral society, Mr/Miss Flowerpot Driptray , said,” The name is clearly an attack on all 3 of us in the society. Forcing us to buy food from such a masculine named company is disrespectful to our cause.” .
When asked what the cause was, IT, replied,” Shut up, you racist ,sexist, fascist ,nazi pig.”.
Leeds south mep, Willy Fukaslyke, commented, ” They could always buy their bread in at Tesco or Aldi. They’re just across the road.” .
Mr/MIss Driptray responded by throwing a massive tantrum by stamping its feet, waving its arms about and screaming abuse at anybody within ear shot. The police attended the scene ,but took no action against anybody as they busily rolled around the floor laughing.
SNOWFLAKE NEWS.. Psychological studies have shown that snowflakes are suffering from what is called” preteen tantrum syndrome”. The condition causes uncontrollable screaming, crying and bodily contortions,when the sufferer doesn’t get their own way or have free stuff given to them. Dr Betty Saloony Phd, says,” The only known cures for this condition ,at the present moment , are a bullet to the brain ,or being sent to bed early without supper.”. Studies continue.
STOCK MARKET NEWS…Shares tumbled for many American food chains today, as movie mogul and lady fondler ,Michael Moorefood,threatened to go on hungerstrike while Trump remained president. Whilst this will not endanger Moorefoods life for several years, it is likely to cause many closures of food outlets and hundreds of redundancies around the Hollywood area. Cattle around the state seemed to be happier for the news and one particularly happy bullock ,Billy,said,” MOOOO”, in a very happy tone.
WEATHER with Gail Forswind… It’s winter, you work it out.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
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